What happened to Tiernan’s underwear?! We never found out in the confines of the story, but we will now. This bonus scene takes place during Credence, after Tiernan and Noah bring Kaleb back from the fishing cabin, and it’s a spoiler for the book. If you’ve read Credence, then read on!
Read Credence here—> https://amzn.to/2Srj90l
The hot water pours over my scalp as I hang my head under the showerhead. I dig my nails into the tiled wall ahead of me, the world spinning behind my eyelids as my hair blankets my eyes.
What is she doing to me? Everything hurts…
When we’re not close.
I can’t even be a few fucking feet away from her, can I? Who’s pathetic now?
As soon as we got back from the cabin yesterday, I walked her right past my father’s goddamn yelling about how much danger we put her in, we passed her room, and I took her up to mine. We closed the door, and there was hardly a single second that some part of me wasn’t touching some part of her for the next twelve hours.
Having her to myself, in my bed, was the only food I needed.
Waking up this morning with her wrapped around me, her head laying on my shoulder, and her nose and lips tucked into my neck as she slept so peacefully—her holding me and me holding her—I…
I know that she’s the one thing I love more than the peak. She fits in my arms like she’s a part of my body, and I can’t live with anything else but that for the rest of my life.
Slicking back my soaked hair, I let out a slow breath, thinking off all the things I wanted to say to her last night. All the things I wanted her to hear when I was inside of her, and all the things I wanted her to know and things that would’ve turned her on even more and made her smile.
But I couldn’t, because I’m not even a fucking man.
I want to talk to her. I do.
I open my mouth, the water spilling over my lips as the words fill my throat.
But my stomach churns. Fuck.
I open my mouth wider, trying again and tighten my stomach on reflex as I feel my vocal cords close and stretch across my larynx. “Ahhhh…”
I cough, the bile rising from down low and making me choke. I squeeze my eyes shut, damn near shivering, despite the hot shower pouring over me. I can laugh, groan, grunt, growl… But trying to form words makes me sick.
“I… I…” I exhale, breathing harder. “I…”
I shake my head as my eyes fucking water like I’m a fucking baby or something. Fuck this. Fuck this.
She doesn’t belong here. With me. I’ll be her weirdo boyfriend who can’t carry on a conversation. She’ll leave.
I’m not a real man.
“I…” I struggle, the noise of the shower covering the sound of my voice. “I lo..loo…ooove, love…”
My voice doesn’t sound like me. It sounds like someone else. I don’t remember ever speaking, so I don’t know what I sounded like, but this isn’t me.
“Ti…” I whisper, clearing my throat to make the sound come. “Tier…
Say her name. She would like that. Just say her name, at least.
I push off the wall, running my hand through my hair as I grit my teeth. My throat aches, and I can’t swallow, because I’m going to fucking vomit. I sound like a child. I sound like I’m stupid.
I don’t have to speak. She loves me. She said so. I just have to be good, right? If I love her good, she’ll know. There’s plenty of time to do this. Maybe one night, when it’s late and we’re in bed, and I’m staring down at her, I can whisper the words. Or look into her eyes and mouth them? It would be a start. She would see I’m trying.
I hear the toilet seat in the bathroom clank against the tank and a loud yawn pierce the air. I straighten and yank the shower curtain open just enough to look around it.
Noah’s head is tipped back in another yawn as he digs in his jeans, pulls himself out, and starts pissing.
I scowl at him. He heard the shower. What if it wasn’t me in here?
He must sense me glaring, because he turns his head, meeting my eyes.
“Oh, relax,” he grumbles. “I knew it was you. Tiernan locks the door.”
I don’t give a damn. Fucking knock.
“Geez, you look like shit.” His eyes trail over my face. “I wanna look like shit from lack of sleep.”
I shake my head and close the curtain again, grabbing the soap to finish washing.
“Maybe I should stop talking, too, so women will gravitate toward me.”
I roll my eyes. Yeah, because that’s what all of this is about. Chasing tail.
“Dad would be thrilled,” he continues and I hear another yawn. “Noah, the silent type.”
I lean over and look at him outside the curtain again, cocking an eyebrow.
“What?” he blurts out. “I could stop talking. If I wanted to.”
My eyebrows rise.
“I can,” he protests.
I breathe out a snicker.
“She might want me again, and then you’ll be scared.”
I grab my towel hanging over the shower rod and whip it at his head, the towel snapping right across his face. He flinches, grabbing his nose and howling as I toss the towel back over the rod.
“Ugh! Come on!” he growls. “Shit.”
I close the curtain and resume washing. I don’t want to break anything or make him bleed, but I’ll nip that thought in the bud, any way it takes.
The toilet seat slams shut, and I hear him grumble, “I’m going back to bed.”
Yeah, you do that. It doesn’t bug me that he’s attracted to her. Having competition might even turn me on a little bit from time to time, but her heart is mine now. I have her love. She’s mine.
I finish up, dry off, and wrap a towel around my waist as I head up to my bedroom again. The scent of coffee and something sweet drifts upstairs from the kitchen, and even though it’s still crazy early, I know she’s up and we have the house to ourselves for another hour maybe.
I pull on some jeans and fasten my belt, towel drying my hair before fixing the bed. The fitted sheet is half off, and the blankets and one pillow are strewn on the floor. I grab the dirty plates from the food run to the kitchen I made for us at midnight and stack them in one hand as I descend the stairs again.
I walk downstairs and step into the great room, seeing her drawings spread out in front of the fire, along with her pencils.
The flames flicker across the papers, casting a warm glow in the room, and I draw in a breath, smelling the coffee already brewed and some kind of pastry. I can’t help the small smile on my face. I love waking up to this. The house, already warm, and food other than cereal or bacon cooking. Light and heat. Being taken care of. Warm.
My father tried. He’s not her, though. She makes this house a home.
I head toward the kitchen, but just as I look ahead, I see her walking out. She lifts a blueberry muffin to her lips with one hand and carries a pencil in the other. I stop, and she lifts her gray eyes, stopping, too. Both of us locked in place.
A beautiful smile crosses her eyes as she lowers the pastry and closes her mouth. My fingers hum, but my arms feel empty again.
I want to go back to bed immediately. Fuck food and water.
“You okay?” she asks. And then she holds out the muffin to me with a coy tilt her to her lips. “Hungry?”
Yes. I. Am.
But then my eyes drop, and I ignore the muffin, noticing what she’s wearing.
Her jeans are tight, the hem of her T-shirt caught on the belt wrapped around her waist. The belt I made for her, using everything I knew of her life here in the carvings. How her hair looked in the wind, the dream catcher for her nightmares, her love of the animals and the peak…
The one I made and punished her with when I was trying to convince myself I wasn’t in love with someone who had two better choices in this house.
Images of that night and how even then she was mine and I didn’t see it, hit me. How she asked me if I thought of her and how I could hear the hurt when she begged me to look at her with my fucking heart and never walk away.
And instead, I hurt her.
Setting the dishes down on the end table, I grab hold of the waistline of her jeans and pull her to me, immediately unfastening the belt.
My jaw flexes. I don’t want her remembering that. I’ll make another one. For new memories.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, suddenly concerned.
She’s probably scared I’m going to tie her up again. But I keep going, unbuckling the belt, pulling it through the loops and off from her. Then, I slide my own belt off my waist and hand it to her.
Her eyes narrow, but she takes it and looks back up to me, confused. I veer around her, enter the kitchen, and open the cabinet next to the fridge and toss her belt into the trash.
“What are you doing?” she bursts out.
I hear her footsteps behind me.
“No.” She rushes over and pushes me aside, digging the belt back out of the garbage.
I reach out to take it from her, but she pulls it away again.
“Kaleb, no,” she argues, narrowing her eyes up at me. “I love it.”
I stare down at her, the loose tendrils from her ponytail framing her beautiful face.
I shake my head. No. I want to make it up to you. I hate that she’ll always remember that.
She can use my belt for the time being. Next time, I’ll do better. I’ll go slow and take her down that road again, only this time I won’t make her fucking cry.
She stuffs my belt back into my hand, and I try to push it back, but she reaches up and gently takes my face in her hands, her own belt clutched in her fist.
“It’s okay,” she whispers. “Kaleb, it’s okay.”
I try to turn my head to escape her eyes. It’s not okay. I…
“Look at me.” She forces my eyes on her again. “I’ll keep both.”
I shake my head again.
“I’ll keep both,” she insists. “I have two wrists, after all.”
And despite the anger and regret, I almost laugh. Jesus. Before I can, though, she drops her arms, slipping her hands around my waist, and presses her mouth into mine—my own lips stunned frozen for a minute as she holds me to her body.
The warmth and scent of her sends chills down my body, and I slowly close my eyes, circling my arms around her, too.
She let things go way too easily. She was forgiving. This time. And when I fuck up again?
“I trust you,” she whispers over my mouth, the wet heat tingling across my cheek. “I trust you.”
Heat pools low in my stomach, and I start to swell again, wrapping her tight as her mouth trails across my jaw and down my neck.
I hold her waist and grip her ass with my other hand, pressing her back into the sink and wanting it fucking here and now. I’m sick of hiding in our room. We need our own place and soon. I want to show her what I can do in every part of the house. I want to show her how good I can love her.
Never taking my mouth off hers, I reach above her head to the cabinet and pull out the box of jalapeño jerky that no one touches but me. I open the top and spill the contents onto the counter.
She moans, eating me up, and I take one of the items from the counter and slip it into her hand.
Now. I want to see her in them now. I want her on top of me now.
It takes her a moment to pull away from my lips, but when she does, she drops her eyes, blinking at the silk panties in her fist.
I kiss her forehead as she connects the dots.
“My underwear,” she murmurs. “You had them?”
I move my lips down her temple, slipping my hand underneath her shirt and slowly lifting.
Pulling the shirt off over her head, I drop my eyes to her bare breasts. I set my belt on the counter and undo her pants, opening them up before slipping my hands down inside the back to feel the soft cool skin of her ass. She turns her head, looking behind her on the counter to see the few other pairs I’d managed to smuggle away.
“You didn’t want anyone else seeing me in them,” she says, figuring it out for herself.
I press my chest into her and lean my forehead against hers, staring into her eyes. I regret coming at her so hard that night—not letting her come, tying her up—but once I got a glimpse of what was underneath those pajama shorts that night on the couch after the porno, I knew they belonged in my fucking bed. Either on her body or crumpled up, down at the foot, under the sheets. I didn’t care.
Gripping her ass, I haul her into me and kiss her deep, her tongue flicking mine and lighting my body on fire. I press my dick into her and feel her whimper course down my throat.
I love you. I know you don’t know what I’m saying—what I can’t say—just please feel it.
I was drawn from the moment I saw her, entranced when she watched me in the barn, broken whenever she cried, and sold when she stayed.
Her arms slide up my chest and around my neck, her mouth nibbling and teasing.
I grab the red pair of panties off the counter and start yanking down her jeans. She holds my shoulders as I drop down and pull the jeans and underwear off her legs. Not that there’s anything wrong with the underwear she has on now, but…I’ve been dreaming about seeing her in these.
Tossing the pants, I hold open the red ones, and she takes the hint, slipping one foot after the other through the holes and slowly sliding them up her legs.
The red silk looks amazing against her skin, just a small triangle covering her.
I run my hand up the back of her calf and then up her thigh, feeling her fingernails dig lightly into my shoulders.
“They could come down, Kaleb,” she whispers. “Should we…”
Go upstairs? No.
Looking up into her eyes, I hold them as I slowly drag the panties back down and take the white ones I put in her hand instead. Let’s save red for some sweaty afternoon in the barn this spring.
I pull the white ones, silk in the front and back and lace on the sides, up her legs as she pulls out her hair tie and aims a small smile down at me.
God, she loves me good.
She can certainly get mad at me good, too. She should leave. I know that. Honestly, it’s what’s best for her.
And as best as I’ve tried to keep it at bay, dread fills me, because in a few months she could very well ask something of me that I’m too scared to do, but it would mean keeping her if I can.
We have time, though. Decisions don’t need to be made today.
I watch as she reaches to her side and takes her belt off the counter where I laid it. She threads it through her fist, like I did so many times as I made it. Hoping she’d like it.
“Show me what you dreamed about doing with me,” she murmurs, meeting my eyes.
I rise, staring back. Doing with her? Like how I’d hike with her or watch a movie with her? Or with her like what I’d do with an animal to make it my food? Or what I’d do with a piece of leather to make it my belt?
I flex my jaw, remembering last time.
I’m about to take it away from her and toss the fucking thing, but she lowers her voice again and drops her eyes like the shy girl I know she’s not.
“Show me why no one else will ever be this good,” she challenges. “Not now and not when I leave here and go back to California.”
Leave? Me? I grab the back of her neck, growling under my breath as I hover over her beautiful lips.
But she doesn’t recoil. Her breasts heave against my chest, a taunting little smile peeking out.
This is what I dreamed of doing with you.
Snatching the belt out of her hand, I thread the end through the buckle and slip it around her wrist. Holding her eyes, I lock both hands behind her back, sliding in her other wrist, too.
I yank it tight, feeling her body and breath jerk against me.
But her eyes are excited, and slowly, I feel myself growing stronger. This is what I dreamed of doing with you. Trust me.
Backing up, I pull out a chair at the table and sit down, my gaze still on her as I take in her innocent white panties, long hair, and the marks that my mouth left on her neck and breast last night.
Leaning back, I spread my legs a little and stare at her hot, little body, patting my lap twice and telling her to bring her ass here.
Come here, little cousin.
Wrists tied behind her back, she hesitates a moment, playing her game, and then…she walks toward me. Her arms restrained pushes her tits out more, but she doesn’t blink as she straddles me on the chair, making my already swelling cock ache painfully when she nudges it with her heat.
I grip her hips, guiding her as she comes in, hovering over my mouth and she grinds on me. The wet, warmth of her seeps through her panties and through my jeans, and I have her. Mine. This is fucking mine.
I harden to steel and let out a groan as she rubs on me faster and harder, pressing her pussy into my cock. I watch her body move, her tits bouncing with the waves and her hair tickling my fingers as she lets her head fall back. I run my mouth up her neck and back down to her chest, touching her everywhere before tightening my arms around her like a steel band.
“I love you,” she whispers. “Don’t change. And don’t talk.”
She tilts her head back up, baring her teeth as she breathes against my lips.
“Because if you’re ever able to tell me that you want me as much as I want you,” she whispers, “then maybe you won’t try so hard to show me. I love it when you show me, Kaleb.”
The words lodge in my throat, fucking desperate to get out. I…
But I can’t.
I’ll fucking show her. Digging between us, I unfasten my jeans, pull myself out, fist my hard cock, and pull aside her panties as she leans forward into me to get my dick underneath her. Our lips meet, we eat each other up, and then I’m pushing my way inside of her.
I scoot down in my chair a hair more and take her hips in my hands again as she starts rolling her tight little cunt up and down my cock.
I grit my teeth, watching her able to take me, even with her wrists tied up. Fuck.
“I never want this winter to end,” she whimpers, meeting my forehead with hers. She looks into my eyes. “Kaleb is mine.”
She thrusts harder, looking at my mouth like it’s her next meal, and I’m hypnotized.
“You want to be mine?” she plays.
I dig my fingers into her, loving the fucking sight of her. Fuck yeah.
Reaching behind her, I yank the belt tighter, her eyes falling closed as she throws her head back and moans.
I smile, kissing her jaw, her earlobes, and her mouth. Look at me. Look at me, baby.
As if she heard me, she blinks open her eyes and dives down, kissing me. She pinches my lip between her teeth, and even though I grunt in pain, I love that, tied up, she’s the one in control. My dick heats, my nerves firing up my thighs until I’m about to blow.
“Mine,” she whimpers, rolling her pussy faster and faster, and I know she’s about to come.
I squeeze her ass, feeling the belt behind her and know without a doubt, it’s never going get better than this. She cries out, moaning loud, and as she comes, I squeeze my eyes shut and let go, spilling inside of her. Fuck, fuck…
I drop my head into the crook of her neck, feeling her sweat as I thrust up to meet her, sinking my cock to hilt one last time as I finish.
Tiernan. The world spins behind my eyelids.
She nuzzles me, kissing my hair, my face, and my lips, and while she may or may not wish I had less experience with women, I’m glad I had the experiences I did. Otherwise I might not appreciate right here, right now, that it was always supposed to be like this.
We kiss, her hair hanging in her flushed face as she moves over my mouth, never getting enough.
Just like me.
I undo the belt, letting her arms free, and she takes it, smiling and looking down at it.
“It’s your turn next time, you know?” she teases.
I shake my head, but I smile anyway. You like it when I use my hands.
But something tells me, she wants to stretch her legs and see what she can do to me. I’ll let her try.
The challenge sits between us, and I can tell it’s on again tonight.
I hold her tight, and she leans forward, our foreheads touching and neither of us ready to move.
But then, suddenly, the floor above creaks, and we hear footfalls hit the stairs. She pops her head up, our eyes meeting, and we’re frozen in horror for a second before she squeals and scrambles off me. I laugh as both of us hurriedly dress.
I can’t live like this. What do I have to do to get Noah to volunteer himself for the next fishing trip with our father, so Tiernan and I can have the house to ourselves for a few days?
My fucking life savings, no doubt, but I’ll do it.
*Thank you, everyone, for reading and for reviewing. I appreciate all the minds that were able to see what I was trying to do with this book. xx